The Web Pest Poet
Thomas Ptacek | June 24th, 2008 | Filed Under: Matasano
[Update 5:30] —- And we are again CLOSED. [Update 4:00] —- Oh FINE. Twenty more. But you have to be EXTRA witty. [Update 3:50] —- AND WE’RE CLOSED! Your pithy comments are still appreciated, though.
Here’s one of the cool things about being an indie company: sometimes someone has a cool idea, and we can get it out the door in under 2 weeks.
By way of example, I present to you Erin’s webpest poetry:
Yup. It’s a perforated sheet of refrigerator magnets with exploit words on them. Here’s a gestalt view:
Now you too can write exploits on your whiteboard or fridge. Suitable for mixing and matching with other magnets —- I highly recommend the Shakespeare set; “http:// vouchsafe .af.mil / methinks / WEB-INF” indeed, sir! Includes a handy note-taking surface with our handsome new logo, and a hard-to-read but nice-looking hex chart.
What would you expect to pay for such a stunning value? $9.95? $19.95? $42,949,672.95 (wait, I think that means we wind up paying you). How about free, to the first 2040 commenters on this post. Try to say something witty, though.
(Don’t worry about your address though, we’ll get back to you for it).
My copy of Skiena is not included.
Did we mention that ChiSec is tomorrow? If you’re coming out to it, don’t worry about commenting here. We’ll have some in tow.
Chris
June 24th, 2008 4:35 pmUmm… first?
IOU one witty comment.
drew
June 24th, 2008 4:35 pmsomething witty
Landon
June 24th, 2008 4:36 pmOh?
Bart
June 24th, 2008 4:37 pmTo exploit via telnet is pretty neat
To exploit on fridge is uber leet
Drew Yao
June 24th, 2008 4:40 pmFloating pointer numbers don’t use two’s complement.
Thomas Ptacek
June 24th, 2008 4:43 pmOk Drew wins.
Mo
June 24th, 2008 4:44 pmNice. Wondering if this falls under german cybercrime law
Lee Hinman
June 24th, 2008 4:44 pmNow all you need is a “terminal program prompt and common utility” set so that you can diagram the flow of exploitation on your fridge. Awesome
Alex Holst
June 24th, 2008 4:44 pmSomething twitty.
<>
Kevin
June 24th, 2008 4:44 pmmmmm…the coolaid…it is tasty.
S.
June 24th, 2008 4:45 pmi want to exploit my fridge.
rmogull
June 24th, 2008 4:45 pmTom,
While I would like one, I am clearly not worthy since I’m not even on your blogroll. Amrit and Rothman are there, thus destroying my (inflamed) ego. As I sit here I see my manhood pooling on the floor in a congealed mess slowly sublimating in the dry Arizona air.
I’m sure I’ll survive. I should probably just give up security and call that truck driving school. If you give me a magnet set, I can put it on the side of my truck ensuring repeated physical beatings from by truck driving peers. I probably deserve being kicked in the head by some overweight trucker, so you’ll just be doing karma a favor.
Zach
June 24th, 2008 4:46 pmOh that is just
*searches his fridge for words*
[a] [great] [banana]
(those are the only magnets I can use. All of the others are being used in childish, immature sentences)
Pedram Amini
June 24th, 2008 4:48 pm‘ or send_magnet_to=pedram
Marcin
June 24th, 2008 4:49 pmMe me me! Now time to add me… subtlety to mr mogull.
Innismir
June 24th, 2008 4:50 pmMee! Meeeeeeeeeeee!
Mark
June 24th, 2008 4:53 pmI need a Beer select statement
Adam O'Donnell
June 24th, 2008 4:56 pmOooh ooh!
mac
June 24th, 2008 4:57 pmAll your email drowns
in a bright pink foaming sea
spam spam spam spam spam
Jeffrey Czerniak
June 24th, 2008 4:57 pmMagnets! I is want!
cvoid
June 24th, 2008 4:57 pmthis, combined with oversized slices of bread, and the toaster is pwned! that’s what you get for all those “our toaster’s use military-grade security” ads.
(okay, i thought it was funny)
Thomas Ptacek
June 24th, 2008 4:59 pmOk, you all get magnets. Go ahead and send me your mailing infoz at tqbf AT matasano.com. Thanks for playing!
(Drew, MY webapps store penny-denominated fixnum currency).
jb
June 24th, 2008 4:59 pmAww. I’m handily over 20. Cute things made by Erin are always welcome.
JM
June 24th, 2008 5:00 pmDO WANT
Thomas Ptacek
June 24th, 2008 5:01 pmCAN USE?
Andre Gironda
June 24th, 2008 5:02 pmDood, no fair, First-Poster distracted me while I have been writing a comment for his latest blog post. Insert blog post where distraction equals me.
michael lynch
June 24th, 2008 5:05 pmWow, awesome!
Lennie
June 24th, 2008 5:13 pmThis + shakespeare = A brute force script that prints “Once more into the breach, dear friends!” every 1000 iterations?
Send hax0r magnets plz.
joe v
June 24th, 2008 5:23 pmWord UP…..
Andy
June 24th, 2008 5:24 pmOh man! Combining this with my Onion fridge magnets will lead to hours of awesomeness… and confusion from my wife. Perfect!
Jason
June 24th, 2008 5:25 pmI’ve got nothing witty…
How about an appreciation for a really cool idea?
Pavel Pergamenshchik
June 24th, 2008 5:35 pmI can has free magnets please?
ap
June 24th, 2008 5:37 pmmov me, magnets
plz
jmp happy
Jolly
June 24th, 2008 5:38 pmThis means chisec will be just that much better this time around!
JR
June 24th, 2008 5:39 pmso:
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip. After a good dinner, they retire for the night, and go to sleep.
Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend. “Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.”
“I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes” exclaims Watson.
“And what do you deduce from that?”
Watson ponders for a minute.
“Well, astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe. What does it tell you, Holmes?”
And Holmes said: “Watson, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent.”
(thanks wikipedia!)
aaronb
June 24th, 2008 5:41 pmexploit haiku r0x
look forward to those by x0x
expect they’ll end with …
sumdumguy
June 24th, 2008 5:49 pmSo extra points if we can merge your set with this one?
Daniel Reynaud
June 24th, 2008 5:56 pmI think a leet haiku might come in handy :
Haikus are easy
But sometimes they don’t make sense
Refrigerator.
Nate McFeters
June 24th, 2008 5:57 pmDamn’d and blast! Travel kills all the things I want most in life… like today when my delayed flight prevented me from getting the Matasano magnet.
That is… unless a certain friend named Tom in the Chicago area wanted to hook me up anyways.
-Nate
Tyler Krpata
June 24th, 2008 6:04 pmBecause my kitchen needs more overflows.
Fuck, that wasn’t funny.
Derek Vadala
June 24th, 2008 6:06 pmI had to spend a half hour today explaining what a proxy was to a senior network engineer.
Jane
June 24th, 2008 6:07 pmHmm. Shiny! me wants!
This may just convince me enough to get rid of the magnetic poetry stuff I got at a Mac OS X 10.2 launch from my fridge..
Statler and Waldorf
June 24th, 2008 6:07 pmNeglecting my pentesterly duties whilst
stalking the adderalwebs
I spy
a squiggly whiteboard avatar
and a truncated URL.
Oh.
MTSO.
Free stuff.
But.
I’m late.
Once again.
Scads of vulnresearch luminaries
(nay, enginEERs, even!!!)
beat me
to the punch
and to the post.
DAMMIT! EVEN THAT EUROTRASH REYNAUD! ARGGGH!!!! CURSE HIS MINITEL-TWIDDLING LEATHER PANTS!
And yet,
once again,
someone lowers the bar.
Success. =)
Chris Green
June 24th, 2008 6:12 pmOooh. An application layer magnet kit!
Adam Baldwin
June 24th, 2008 6:13 pmThe best part about having these magnets around is that not only can they be useful for witty fridge slogans, but they can also be used to, oh I don’t know, keep a physical door sensor from going off (if they are strong enough)
Ryan Russell
June 24th, 2008 6:18 pmI can haz exploiz?
http://icanhascheezburger.com/2008/06/24/lolspeak-magnets-r-heer/
Dan Guido
June 24th, 2008 6:20 pmwitty statement #1:
Give me some rice,
you son of a bitch,
or else I will eat the flag.
witty statement #2:
“…by killing one user, the rest will be far more aware of security issues.”
mega want.
Dan Guido
June 24th, 2008 6:22 pmwitty statement #3 (I can’t believe I forgot this one!):
“Except for a few things, let me just tell you: It’s credible.” - Senator Christopher “Kit” Bond (R-MO) on Die Hard 4
I just wanted to get that out there, not because I want more magnets
kev
June 24th, 2008 6:27 pm#include “witty.h”
ErikC
June 24th, 2008 6:28 pmNothing witty so much as fact:
There is an 0day vuln in the version of WordPress you guys are running.
DaveG knows how to reach me
Dave G.
June 24th, 2008 6:43 pmI would submit to you that I, in fact, do not know who how get in touch with you. But you probably know how to get in touch with me, so please do!
Thomas Ptacek
June 24th, 2008 6:50 pmErik: does it work even when accounts are disabled?
_ryan
June 24th, 2008 8:13 pmyeah, what mogull said. your blogroll is lame without mine.
_r
Kurt Grutzmacher
June 24th, 2008 8:17 pmhax0red by turkey!
qwerty
June 24th, 2008 8:18 pmDamn, I missed out =(
I’ll have to buy it as Malo-Mart, if I’m Smart..
Dooooo doo-doot-doot dooo da-dooo.
Woooott wa woot woot woot wa woot…
Amrit
June 24th, 2008 8:26 pmBased loosely on Langston Hughes “A Dream Deferred” and the recent SQL injection madness…
Select * from dreams where ID = ‘like a raisin in the sun’; drop table dreams–
Amrit
June 24th, 2008 8:35 pmA #FF007F /%name%/ 111111110000000001111111
aaronb
June 24th, 2008 9:02 pmtest
Amrit
June 24th, 2008 9:21 pmrm -rf /blogroll/rmogull
OK that’s 3…now granted none of them are, on their own, worthy of anything but ridicule, I deserve a set for effort right?
Stephen
June 24th, 2008 9:33 pmattestation
nuc
June 24th, 2008 9:34 pm..so if you give an unlimited number of monkeys an unlimited number of fridges, they will write the combined ’spl0itwork of Matasano?
Or will that only work if the Shakespeare pack is in evidence?
some loser
June 24th, 2008 9:59 pmWhy don’t you put it on the “toaster” Eric owned instead of a refrig? or is that coming up in a future blog post x)
Will
June 24th, 2008 10:57 pmHah, don’t you people see? This is an evil, yet brilliant social engineering hack to get your full name and adddress, thus allowing them to steal your identity!
Don’t say I didn’t warn you!
Sam
June 25th, 2008 8:55 amI want one.
Mike
June 25th, 2008 9:18 amIf $you != “happy”,
then chop($wood); #and relax
send9
June 25th, 2008 9:23 amMaybe instead of ChiSec we can just go to a coffee shop and do readings of security-related poetry for each other?
Thomas Ptacek
June 25th, 2008 9:55 amIf your comment appears above this line, mail tqbf AT matasano.com your shipping infoz.
If your comment appears below this line, there will be future Matasano blog promotions!
Mitchel Ashley
June 25th, 2008 10:18 amDarn. I should have given those away with Cobia. I might not have been fired if we got a few more downloads!
popebrak
June 25th, 2008 7:28 pmWit is the final refuge of the. . . people who take their last refuge in wit.
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